Update: More Victims, Court Date and the Mindf*ck that is "Tom"

It’s been about ten weeks since all of the women found each other.

During this time, I think its fair to say that regardless of the type of relationship we had with “Tom” and where are our lives are now, we have gone through a range of emotions.  There have been times that all of us have had to just take a break and times we’ve needed more questions answered.  Times with a surge of new info and times of quiet.

I have been so impressed with these amazingly strong women, the heart we all share for a few common goals, and how we have given each other the space we’ve needed at times.  We are always making sure everyone is okay.  This is a lot…but it’s our life.

It’s overwhelming to know some segment of your life could realistically be made into a Lifetime movie.  It’s something people joke about, but it is really true this time.  We are working with a reporter who is writing our story for an international publication and even she is amazed at the gravity of what “Tom Guida” is capable of, layer upon layer of deceit and fraud.

When I say that, it is a good time to bring up that the list of victims keeps growing and we know it will grow immensely once the story is public.  You see, his co-workers just found us and they are shocked.  He was so good at his fake career…he missed his calling as an actor, apparently.

When “Tom” wasn’t out saving the world with the Marines or FBI (which never happened), he was practicing as a Mental Health professional in some regard.  Sometimes he was a program supervisor only requiring him to have a masters, sometimes he was doing private therapy, sometimes he went by “Dr” and sometimes he didn’t, but he never had a license. 

So imagine the co-workers surprise to find out he faked it…the NYU degrees plastered on his walls, they were faked (our reporter confirmed NYU has no record of him.)  But beyond faking his education and status, they all talked about how good he was at his job.  More proof that he had the ability to become what he purports to be if only he had tried. 

Several of them also talked about sharing deep and personal experiences with “Tom.”  When they shared these confidences with him, he often shared his own (made up) stories or those of someone close to him.  So similar to how he swooped in to rescue Julia (and thank God for that), he used these same tactics with everyone.  They talked about the wonderful connection and personal advice he gave, the effective treatments he used with the patients, his positive outlook, how easy an employee, how great a supervisor and the fact that he knew so much…the same things that made us women think he was special and eventually fall in love with him. 

It’s a mindf*ck…there is simply no other word for it.  It was interesting watching them go through this process without having any connection to the world in which they knew him.  As they attempted to understand and process all of this new information, I assured them that we’ve been there. 

How is it possible for someone to be so completely amazing without anyone ever figuring out he was faking it?  How could Mental Health professionals be fooled?  How could smart and savvy women be fooled?  That’s the mindf*ck.

It’s nearly impossible to reconcile who he really is with the “Tom” we knew in person.  It’s nearly impossible to reconcile what we think we know about psychopaths, with the psychopath that is “Tom.”

Who he was with his romantic interests and who he was professionally are eerily similar.  There are slight tweaks here and there but overall, many of the same histories, stories and characteristics.  This was validating for us because it just goes to prove that this person is so good at his ‘craft’ that we aren’t just naïve, gullible and love-starved women.

 He became the dream guy and never showed us anything different…he didn’t mistreat us, just like he didn’t mistreat co-workers.  He was the man your mom told you to marry and he was the perfect find for the HR department at any mental health organization. 

Oh and the biggest mindf*ck of all for the co-workers?
They thought he was DEAD!  Did I forget to mention that?  Last they had seen “Tom” was shortly after the end-of-life party that Julia threw him.  They had taken up a collection of $1500-2000 cash to help him during his final weeks fighting that elusive brain tumor and terminal cancer.  Imagine their surprise.

Despite the fact we know ALL of this stuff about him now, legally, it’s hard to get law enforcement to run with this.  We have experienced a lot of passing-of-the-buck, and even when Penny went to file her bigamy charge, there was a “Boys will be boys” attitude. 

Which brings me to tomorrow.  He’s due in court for Bigamy.  Jenny will be there and many of us wonder if “Tom” will actually show up.  But we are hopeful because we know that Jenny will be assigned a prosecutor. We are just praying it is the right person who is going to connect with Jenny, and really hear her, see how huge this is and how “Tom” needs to be off the streets.

Please join us in sending as many positive thoughts her way (at 8:45a on 04.16.15) as possible! 

We know when the story is public…that is likely when law enforcement will not be able to look away…there has to be someone running for office who will hang their hat on this, if nothing else.  I look forward to world beginning to know who he is, but I also worry there will be SO many people who come forward. 

So far, we are only able to gather bits and pieces from 2006-2015, we know there are countless missing people in this story.

There are the other women who have been romanced by him and other wives who never got a divorce.  

There are employers who hired him based on false credentials.  

There are former patients who already were in a fragile place when he treated them, and regardless of how they are doing now, will feel violated. 

 There are other people who had various relationships with him, that gave him money for his fake cancer, who were robbed. 

 And then there is his family, who perhaps have turned a blind eye at times, but knowing how well “Tom” plays his role, will be blown away to find out they love and are related to such a psychopath.  

And there’s YOU, whoever you are reading this post, who was brought here by a google search or a facebook link because you knew him or you are supporting someone who did. 

Hopefully tomorrow is the first start to reclaiming what he took from us in whatever capacity he did. 

“Tom” loved justice, it’s time for us to get ours! 

If you or someone you love has been preyed upon by Tom Guida or Tom Gatto, please reach out and comment below or email us TGExposerGroup@gmail.com

Written by Deb