Update: More Victims, Court Date and the Mindf*ck that is "Tom"

It’s been about ten weeks since all of the women found each other.

During this time, I think its fair to say that regardless of the type of relationship we had with “Tom” and where are our lives are now, we have gone through a range of emotions.  There have been times that all of us have had to just take a break and times we’ve needed more questions answered.  Times with a surge of new info and times of quiet.

I have been so impressed with these amazingly strong women, the heart we all share for a few common goals, and how we have given each other the space we’ve needed at times.  We are always making sure everyone is okay.  This is a lot…but it’s our life.

It’s overwhelming to know some segment of your life could realistically be made into a Lifetime movie.  It’s something people joke about, but it is really true this time.  We are working with a reporter who is writing our story for an international publication and even she is amazed at the gravity of what “Tom Guida” is capable of, layer upon layer of deceit and fraud.

When I say that, it is a good time to bring up that the list of victims keeps growing and we know it will grow immensely once the story is public.  You see, his co-workers just found us and they are shocked.  He was so good at his fake career…he missed his calling as an actor, apparently.

When “Tom” wasn’t out saving the world with the Marines or FBI (which never happened), he was practicing as a Mental Health professional in some regard.  Sometimes he was a program supervisor only requiring him to have a masters, sometimes he was doing private therapy, sometimes he went by “Dr” and sometimes he didn’t, but he never had a license. 

So imagine the co-workers surprise to find out he faked it…the NYU degrees plastered on his walls, they were faked (our reporter confirmed NYU has no record of him.)  But beyond faking his education and status, they all talked about how good he was at his job.  More proof that he had the ability to become what he purports to be if only he had tried. 

Several of them also talked about sharing deep and personal experiences with “Tom.”  When they shared these confidences with him, he often shared his own (made up) stories or those of someone close to him.  So similar to how he swooped in to rescue Julia (and thank God for that), he used these same tactics with everyone.  They talked about the wonderful connection and personal advice he gave, the effective treatments he used with the patients, his positive outlook, how easy an employee, how great a supervisor and the fact that he knew so much…the same things that made us women think he was special and eventually fall in love with him. 

It’s a mindf*ck…there is simply no other word for it.  It was interesting watching them go through this process without having any connection to the world in which they knew him.  As they attempted to understand and process all of this new information, I assured them that we’ve been there. 

How is it possible for someone to be so completely amazing without anyone ever figuring out he was faking it?  How could Mental Health professionals be fooled?  How could smart and savvy women be fooled?  That’s the mindf*ck.

It’s nearly impossible to reconcile who he really is with the “Tom” we knew in person.  It’s nearly impossible to reconcile what we think we know about psychopaths, with the psychopath that is “Tom.”

Who he was with his romantic interests and who he was professionally are eerily similar.  There are slight tweaks here and there but overall, many of the same histories, stories and characteristics.  This was validating for us because it just goes to prove that this person is so good at his ‘craft’ that we aren’t just naïve, gullible and love-starved women.

 He became the dream guy and never showed us anything different…he didn’t mistreat us, just like he didn’t mistreat co-workers.  He was the man your mom told you to marry and he was the perfect find for the HR department at any mental health organization. 

Oh and the biggest mindf*ck of all for the co-workers?
They thought he was DEAD!  Did I forget to mention that?  Last they had seen “Tom” was shortly after the end-of-life party that Julia threw him.  They had taken up a collection of $1500-2000 cash to help him during his final weeks fighting that elusive brain tumor and terminal cancer.  Imagine their surprise.

Despite the fact we know ALL of this stuff about him now, legally, it’s hard to get law enforcement to run with this.  We have experienced a lot of passing-of-the-buck, and even when Penny went to file her bigamy charge, there was a “Boys will be boys” attitude. 

Which brings me to tomorrow.  He’s due in court for Bigamy.  Jenny will be there and many of us wonder if “Tom” will actually show up.  But we are hopeful because we know that Jenny will be assigned a prosecutor. We are just praying it is the right person who is going to connect with Jenny, and really hear her, see how huge this is and how “Tom” needs to be off the streets.

Please join us in sending as many positive thoughts her way (at 8:45a on 04.16.15) as possible! 

We know when the story is public…that is likely when law enforcement will not be able to look away…there has to be someone running for office who will hang their hat on this, if nothing else.  I look forward to world beginning to know who he is, but I also worry there will be SO many people who come forward. 

So far, we are only able to gather bits and pieces from 2006-2015, we know there are countless missing people in this story.

There are the other women who have been romanced by him and other wives who never got a divorce.  

There are employers who hired him based on false credentials.  

There are former patients who already were in a fragile place when he treated them, and regardless of how they are doing now, will feel violated. 

 There are other people who had various relationships with him, that gave him money for his fake cancer, who were robbed. 

 And then there is his family, who perhaps have turned a blind eye at times, but knowing how well “Tom” plays his role, will be blown away to find out they love and are related to such a psychopath.  

And there’s YOU, whoever you are reading this post, who was brought here by a google search or a facebook link because you knew him or you are supporting someone who did. 

Hopefully tomorrow is the first start to reclaiming what he took from us in whatever capacity he did. 

“Tom” loved justice, it’s time for us to get ours! 

If you or someone you love has been preyed upon by Tom Guida or Tom Gatto, please reach out and comment below or email us TGExposerGroup@gmail.com

Written by Deb

Listen to Your Gut!

All of us Ladies realize we should have listened to our gut much sooner than we did.  Learn from our mistakes.  If you have met Tom, while he always treats women well while he's with them, remember you are likely one of many he is maintaining a relationship with and in the process of all of his lies, he has committed a number of crimes.  RUN!

Jenny: How I met Tom

My name is Jenny. 

I have tried to put this behind me many times, but every time I think I have, a woman contacts me to reminds me how he hurt me and is hurting them. The hurt in the women's voices is heartbreaking. I cant believe he keeps doing this and gets away with it. 

This needs to end. Here is my story. 

I was a single mother of two. I was alone for 4 years desperately searching for love. Since it was so hard to get out and meet people, I started online dating. 

It all started when I saw his profile and sent him a message. We exchanged conversation for a few days and then he disappeared. He told me he was in the Marines and he was going overseas often but didn't warn me he was going away right then. 

Our conversations were so fun and romantic, different than what I had experienced before so I kept waiting for him to appear again. 

Then one day he was online, his location had changed and I inquired about it. He told me he was relocated by the Military. He would now be around NJ and he wanted to see me. We started talking everyday for hours. He would make me smile. He always knew the right things to say. I couldn't talk to him enough. 

Our first date as so romantic. from the moment we first saw each other...the big hug he gave me...to his smile. We met in downtown Freehold, NJ. It is a cute little place that I had not experienced before. He took me to an Italian restaurant, this was my first real date in my life. It was BYOB so he left to run to get wine. 

I felt so special. The night ended with the biggest hug and a nice long kiss. I was so in love. 

After we met I started to drive to see him 3 times a week. It was about 45 minute drive one-way. He lived in an extended stay, with a full kitchen. 

We would go out to dinner at different restaurants, introducing me to different foods. He also loved going to diners, so we would try different diners. All of the dates wonderful and romantic. 

This went on for a few months and then I introduced him to my children. They started coming with me one day a week - I was driving about 4 hours on those days. I didn't care, I was in love. 

He always paid for dates which I thought was wonderful. 

One day he told me he found out he had a cancerous brain tumor and was going to die. He told me it wasn't fair for him to continue to see me and he would understand if I didn't want to anymore. But I loved him and wouldn't think of leaving.

One day he tells me he is getting relocated to NC and could get treatment there for his cancer. I was so in love that after he moved, I drove there 3 weekends out of the month. Then we decided it would be good for me to move to NC. My kids were at their dads for the summer so I packed up all my belonging to move. 

At this point my family and friends thought I was nuts. They all didn't believe what he was telling me, but because I was so in love I didn't listen. I was needed a change - I was at a company that I was ready to leave, anyway. I also was taking out my 401k so I would have money. I moved to North Carolina the weekend of July 4th. 

I was so excited because this was all new and exciting. I was traveling with my daughters guinea pig. I couldn't leave without it. Tom did not like it and actually moved us to another extended stay hotel and paid for room for the guinea pig by itself. I thought it was crazy, but said if he wants to pay for it, oh well. The new place was much nicer. We would go out to eat many times and sit by the pool and the hot tub. It was like a long honeymoon.

This was my start of our life together.

Tom, the Psychologist, Therapist, Parenting Expert, Grief Counselor, Behavior Specialist

When Tom meets most anyone he will tell them he is a Forensic psychologist. He may also say that he is one but works for the military as a counter terrorism expert or interrogator.  He told one person he worked for the Critical Incidence Response Group, which is a sect of the FBI.

He claims to have gone to school at Auburn for undergrad, in Manhattan for grad school and did his fellowship at John Hopkins.  He also claims to have played college sports for Auburn.

He claims to have done a lot of seminars and public speaking.  He mentions seminars he did with his best friend who is black and an ex-navy seal.

His family states he has never gone to college. The women that have seen his degree think it is fake, one says it came from an online school that isn't real. 

Below are a couple of his seminars he advertised:

Tom, the Marine, Special Ops Marine/Reservist

All of have been told that he is a Marine.  He even has a tattoo that has his battalion number on it (3rd ofr 4th), but it isn't a real battalion. 

We have been told he is in special ops and has a secret job as a counter-terrorism operative or consultant.  This explains his secretiveness, use of different names and social security numbers, frequent phone changes (altho the number stays the same) and ABSENCES.  

Any time he leaves you, it will be for some noble cause where he is doing some heroic feat so you wont feel you can argue with it.  Or you feel selfish arguing with it.  He will give you enough details on what he's doing to make it sound realistic but he will be vague about other things. 

He will promise you will get to meet the men in his group, his CO, how they all know about you because they see him smiling all the time but that is all a lie, because they don't exist.  He talks about Fort Dix, Quantico and a coast guard base on Staten Island.  He also has said he was getting a silver star and will invite you to be at the ceremony.  He claims to be the team leader of his unit but have zero control over anything in his life and schedule bc the military rules it all, which is why he can't come home and see you. 

He claims he has had tours in Iraq and Afghanastan and that he had an IED explode near him.  He will claim he was severely injured, transferred to a hospital in Germany and and his family came because they weren't sure he would make it.

He claims he gets to cover with his unit all sorts of famous venues to protect the public from terrorism.  Things like the Super Bowl, the Democratic National Convention, Macy's day Parade, etc.

He will have fairly routine times he texts and calls and will let you know in the morning when you will get your phone call...you know, because he has a long list of women he has to call that day.  Take a number.

On the weekend, the communication pattern may change and he may claim he pulled an all-nighter and will need to change the time of the call.

He is not a fan of the president, can feel anti-government at times, yet patriotic as a "Marine" and military man.  He hates the way the military is treated, claims they love their weapons more than their soldiers and vows to change it. 

He claims to be writing a cirriculum for the military about profiling "lone wolfs" and talked about them before they were in the news all the time.  He claimed to go and interview the man who beheaded his coworkers in Ohio.  He also claims to be helping build a database for intelligence sources for catching lone wolves.  

He claims he was in the first graduating class of MARSOC in 2006.  This is the same time he was with Penny having a fake "brain tumor" and not working at all.  

He is a big muscular guy, with a little bit of a stomach for someone who works out all of the time, is in special ops and eats like a health fanatic like he says.

From what some of the women have been told by his family, Tom was never in the service at all.  They were told that Tom wanted to be a Marine but they wouldn't take him because of a vaccine injury he had as a child that caused kidney damage.  Some of the women feel he just never got over this and it explains some of his behavior. 

The Realization Timeline

Hello...If you have found this blog, I am truly sorry because it likely means someone you love, or you yourself have had some induction into the web of lies that Tom Guida/Gatto has brought to your life.  This blog is written and maintained by a host of women who have fallen prey to this man and are working together to make sure that it doesn't happen to someone else.  We know he is still on the prowl, as well as, maintaining other long-term relationships he is in simultaneously with others.  He is currently married to at least THREE women, possibly four that we know of.  He will marry you but he wont divorce you!

Most of us are using pseudonyms, but our stories are very real.  If you find yourself one of his victims and want to talk to us, please email us at TGExposeGroup@gmail.com.

Here is the timeline we put together at the first of February 2015.  We will add to it as we get better information.

TIMELINE:
1980s Married to Dee in Maryland (may have divorced this one)
2003-2004 Met and spent time with Jen in NJ
????-Married "the Gypsy" in New Orleans she disappeared (this info is from Tom's sister)
2005-Met Jenny in NJ
2006-Married Jenny in March
2009-Jenny said goodbye to him in March, never able to divorce him.
2009-April, Met Julia in NC
2009-Dec, Julia ended it.
2009-Dec, resurfaced with Jen in NJ
2010-Jan/Feb, Met Amber in NJ
2011-July, Married Amber
2011-Nov met Kristin in NC
2012-May, Kristin last saw or heard from Tom
2012-Dec, Jen ended it
2014-Mar, Met Deb
2014-Nov, Deb ended it

He was also married to a friend of his sisters' and we believe they are still married.  This means he is still married to her, the gypsy, Jenny and Amber. He was engaged to both Jen and Sarah.